Into The Embrace Of Fire: Chapter 15

 

Chapter 15

 

She just came out of The George Washington High School. Then she headed down to Thirty-Second Avenue. The trail of parked cars was everywhere. The clouded sky gave a gloomy light to the afternoon. After a few minutes’ walk, she arrived at Baloba Street. She passed the intersection. There were beautiful houses on both sides of the Avenue, but she wasn’t paying any attention to any of them. She got used to them. It had been a few years since she had come to this high school. It was in this high school that she met Agustin, a guy who had everything she could ask for, but he was humble and oblivious about it. His handsome face, which always made her uncomfortable to the bone, was a masterpiece of the human race, but he always seemed to be dismissive no matter how many times she told him the fact. She arrived at Cabrillo Street. She passed the street again and continued on Thirty-Second Avenue. She was getting closer to the place she planned to. She could already see the Golden Gate Park’s tree. She continued her walk until she arrived at Fulton Street. She turned left, and after that, she walked into the main entrance of the park.

She was meeting Agustin.

She was despondent about the things that were about to happen. She thought a lot about it, and the conclusion was that it would be really unfair for Agustin to continue this relationship. Her father’s death was a big blow. It changed everything. The poor Agustin was nothing but supportive.

She sat on the bench.

She felt that even the bench was cursing her for doing this to the poor guy. It made her uncomfortable to sit. This bench was special for both of them, and they had too many memories on it.

It didn’t take too long; she felt a touch of lips on her cheek from behind. It wasn’t part of her plan, but it made her smile.

“Hello, beautiful,” Agustin said with a big smile.

“Oh, Hi,” she responded. He handed in her favorite ice cream, Spumoni. She thanked him for the ice cream. She was holding it in her hands and looking down to her feet. She looked ashamed. She thought she knew what she was supposed to do, but now she was not so sure.

“Do you think it’s gonna rain?” Agustin asked.

“I don’t know. Why?” she answered.

“Because I want to adjust my eating speed. You know, I don’t want to have soaked ice cream.”

She smiled. She knew he was talking about her ice cream. He was indirectly telling her to start eating, but she had no stomach for it. Not ice cream, not anything else. Agustin was always like that. He was too nice to her to tell her what to do.

“You can have mine too if you really want it,” she said. She showed her acknowledgment of his hidden message.

“I will, but not before you finish half of it. It’s gonna be more romantic. People will say, ‘Oh, look at them, how romantic. They are sharing ice cream together.’ Those unfortunate people have no idea that I already ate my share and eating my girlfriend’s as well.”

It made her giggle. She knew he was trying his best to make her eat her ice cream. The situation was like one of those scenarios parents do for their children to make them eat their nutrition.

She took her first spoon, and with that, she broke into tears.

She started crying. Her tears were pouring down like a rainy day. It got people’s attention to see what was happening to this young lady. She hated herself for doing that and making Agustin embarrassed in front of others. He never complained. These few months, she was nothing but an embarrassment to him, but she couldn’t control herself either. No matter how hard she tried. The pain of losing her dad was too much to bear. Being around Agustin made the matter worse. His kindness, laugh, consideration, love, and attention made her miss her dad more. He was taking care of her as her dad did, and this made her cry more.

In the last few weeks, she had been battling with herself about what to do. Was it okay if she kept being selfish and made life miserable for Agustin? Or do the right thing and break up with him? She just lost her father not too long ago, and now she was about to lose the love of her life. She wasn’t ready to lose him. Not now or anytime soon.

Agustin was sitting there, not a bit concerned about what other people were thinking about him. It wasn’t necessary to him before, and it wouldn’t be important to him anytime soon. Calysta knew this about him, and because of that, she was worried that she was abusing Agustin’s kindness.

“Sorry,” she said while crying.

“I’m sorry too,” he responded.

“What for?” she said while sobbing.

“For the same reason you are saying sorry.”

It cracked her up. It made her laugh while she was crying, and at that moment, she decided to do it.

“Agustin,” she said while trying hard not to cry.

“Calysta,” he said casually. He just kept making it more difficult for her to do the right thing.

“I know you are gonna hate this, but I want you to break up with me,” she said it finally.

Agustin just sat there and said nothing. She didn’t expect this. She expected him to protest or ask why, but he did nothing. He was just sitting there silently.

“You know, the first law of thermodynamics is as beautiful as Edgar Allan Poe’s poems,” he said it after his long silence, without looking at her, but he was smiling, and before she said something, he continued.

“I always wondered where the energy goes. I mean, I know that at any moment, I lose energy as heat or kinetic, but where that heat goes? I wonder. However, I feel I am part of a big picture in the universe. My heat travels through space and sees the planets and the stars that I always wanted to see. In some planets far, far away, in a really far future, in million or even billion years away from Earth, a world which happens to have an intelligent life that could see the heat of other intelligent life on another planet through their excellent tools and devices, they could see my heat. How exciting a moment is going to be for them to find out they are not alone, and I am going to be part of it and contribute to it as long as I live, and it continues carrying the good message through space. Even better, for each calorie that I lose to raise the temperature of one gram of water to one centigrade, I become part of the phenomenon to evaporate waters and then become clouds. That particular one gram of water, which is going to be rain, is going to be part of a beautiful flower or fruit. That flower is going to be the source of food for honeybees, butterflies, or other insects or even be a symbol of love from one person to another.

“Look at that flower right there. I wonder if my calorie was part of it. Anyhow, I’m glad it’s there. It is lively and beautiful,” he said.

She saw the tears in his eyes, but he didn’t turn around to meet her eyes. She knew that he wasn’t talking about himself. Instead, he was talking about her dad.

Understanding Agustin wasn’t easy for her at the beginning of their relationship, but she got used to it after a while. He was as mysterious as his favorite hobby, mathematics.

For the first time, she saw how sad he was. She’d never seen him like that, and now she could see that all this time, he was hiding his sadness from her.

“Are you gonna be happy if I leave you?” he said it with tears in his eyes, still trying to avoid eye contact with her.

She got the message behind it. He was telling her that if she wanted to break up with him just for his sake, she shouldn’t do it.

Every cell and fiber in her body was screaming to say, “No, I won’t be,” but she knew if she told him that, he wouldn’t leave her. It sounded so stupid.

She put her hand on his hand, which was grabbing the bench tensely. She felt the tension and the anger. The anger was real and dangerous. She never felt in danger around him until now. Knowing the years he spent in martial arts class, she never realized how strong he was. The vein in his forearm was on display for stupid people to tell them to back off. Now she saw the other side of Agustin, the danger of being a beast.

Who knew that Agustin could be like that? It only showed another miscalculation on her part. What if he loses control and starts hurting her? She never thought of that either, but now she sensed she must take her next step carefully.

“Agustin . . . I’m sorry,” she said it finally while holding his hand in her hand. She could still feel the tension, and she accepted whatever was coming after that. As a matter of fact, she thought she deserved it.

But to her surprise, the tense was gone.

“That night when you were handing in cakes to everyone”—she knew he was talking about her birthday party—“your father sat beside me.” Now she saw the smile on his face, but the tears were there. “He told me how much he loved you, from birth to that very moment. He was proud of you, and he was showing off how good his daughter is by telling me about the cake.” His smile became wider. “At the end of our conversation, he asked me to do a favor for him. Do you want to know what he asked me to do?” Her cry got worse than before.

Now every pedestrian was looking in their direction while passing by. Some of them showed sad faces, and others were smiling. A few of them passed by without even bothering to look. They were trying to say they were in the same position when they broke up with their loved ones—Not a big deal.

He was still looking at the flower across the park with teary eyes and waiting for her answer. When she didn’t answer him, he took her silence as an affirmation to his question. “He asked me to take care of you.”

She had nothing to say but to cry more. She pressed her hand against his after she put her head on his shoulder. The weeping continued. He turned his clenched fist and opened it so that she could hold his hand.

“Now the daughter of the same man is asking me to break up with her,” he said with a broken heart. “I am disappointed at myself that I couldn’t be someone you needed at a difficult time. Do you feel happy if I leave you?”

“Agustin . . . Please,” she begged him to stop torturing her.

He turned with eyes filled with tears and kissed her on top of the head.

“Take care, Calysta,” he said with a bawling voice.

He stood up, took his bag, and left.

She realized that she misjudged everything when he left. Now she didn’t want to break up with him. She howled his name, but he was too far away. She cried with lots of agonies. Somehow, she hoped he would come back and tell her he wouldn’t let go of her.

People gathered around her and asked her what had happened, but she couldn’t speak. She just continued crying. The void of his presence was too much. Only one word was coming out of her mouth. Agustin. Time passed, but Agustin didn’t come back, and all this time, she was crying and calling his name.

A hand came and grabbed her under her shoulder and forced her to stay on her foot. She looked at the person in the hope she would see Agustin, but she saw Marshal. He was alone. He grabbed her bag and started walking with her. She was walking unsteadily while continuing sniveling.

It didn’t take long for her to realize that Agustin had sent him, which worsened the matter.

The bench was empty after they left, and no one sat there because the two melted ice cream painted the bench.