The Blind Owl By Sadeq Hedayat (Translated by Iraj Bashiri), Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 Was this real?

I do not want anyone to ask me this question.

But the main concern was her face, no, it was her eyes, and now I possessed those eyes. I had the spirit of her eyes on paper.

Her body was no longer of any use to me. The body that was condemned to destruction, to nourishing the worms and rats that dwell under the ground.

From now on she was under my control; rather than I serve as her vassal.

Any minute that I desired, I could see her eyes.

I took the painting with the utmost care, and put it into my own tin can, where I keep my profits and hid the tin can in the closet of my room,

The night was stealthily tiptoeing away.

It seemed that it had sufficiently recovered from its weariness. Soft, distant sounds, like the sound of a fowl or a passing bird's dream or perhaps the whisper of the growth of the plants, could be sensed.

At this time, the pale stars were disappearing behind the mass of clouds.

I felt the gentle breath of the morning on my face, at the same time I heard the crow of a rooster from afar.

What could I do with the body? A corpse whose mass had already started to disintegrate!

First it occurred to me to bury her in my room; then I thought of taking her out and throwing her in a well, a well around which black lilies have grown.

But all these plots, to prevent other people from seeing, entailed much thought, labor, and dexterity.

Furthermore, I did not wish any stranger to look at her. I had to do all this alone and with my own hands.

Forget me! As a matter of fact, after her, what use did my life have?

But her, never, never any ordinary human being, no one except myself, should ever glance at her corpse.

She had come to my room and surrendered her cold body and her shadow to me, in order to prevent others from seeing her; in order not to become defiled by the looks of strangers.

At last a thought crossed my mind: if I were to chop her body up and put it in a suitcase—my very own old suitcase--then I could take the suitcase out with me to a distant place, far away, very far from people's eyes, and bury it there.

This time I no longer hesitated. I fetched the bone-handled knife that I had in the closet of my room and, very carefully, first I tore the thin black dress which, like a spider's web, had imprisoned her within itself; or should I say, I tore the only thing that covered her body.

It seemed that she had grown taller.

،Because she appeared to me to be taller.

Then I severed her head. Drops of cold, coagulated blood poured out of her throat.

Then I cut off her hands and legs and arranged her whole body, torso and limbs, in the suitcase and covered her body with the same black dress.

I locked the suitcase and put the key in my pocket.

When the job was complete, I picked up the suitcase and weighed it: it was heavy.

Never before had I felt so fatigued.

No. I could never carry that suitcase out by myself.

اIt was cloudy once again, and a light rain was falling.

I left my room to look for someone who would help me carry the suitcase away.

Not a soul was to be seen anywhere near there.

I paid more attention, a little farther away, through the fog, I saw an old man who had hunched his shoulders and who was sitting under a cypress tree.

His face, over which he had wrapped a wide scarf, could not be seen.

Slowly I approached him,

Before I could utter a word, a hybrid, dry and repulsive laughter issued from the old man; a laughter that made my hair stand on end.

Then he said,

«If you are looking for a porter, I can help you, huh.

I also own a hearse.

Everyday I carry corpses to Shah Abdul Azim and bury them there. I also make coffins.

I have coffins for every person's perfect measurements, not a hair off.

I am ready myself--right now!…»

He laughed so hysterically that his shoulders shook.

With my hand, I pointed in the direction of my house.

Without giving me the opportunity to utter a word, he said,

«It's not necessary. I know where you live. Right now. Right away, huh.»

He got up from where he was sitting, and I started to walk towards my house.

I entered my room and, with great difficulty, brought the «dead» suitcase to the front of the door.

There, I saw a ramshackle old hearse to which a pair of thin, black, skeleton-like horses were hitched.

The old man, shoulders hunched, was sitting up there on the driver's seat. He had a long whip in his hand, and he did not turn to look at me.

With difficulty, I placed the suitcase in the carriage, in the middle of which there was a special place for putting coffins.

I, too, climbed into the carriage and laid myself down in the middle of the place intended for

coffins. I placed my head on the edge so that I could see the surrounding scenery.

Then I slid the suitcase on my chest, and held it tightly with both hands. The whip whistled through the air, and the horses, whose labored breath issued through their nostrils like columns of smoke in rainy weather, began to move with long but gentle leaps.

Their slim forelegs, like the hand of a thief severed of its fingers by law and plunged into hot oil, struck the ground gently and noiselessly.

In the damp air, the sound of the bells on their necks had a special ring.

An indescribable relief, the cause of which I did not know, had filled me from head to toe so thoroughly that I could barely feel the movement of the hearse.

I only felt the weight of the suitcase on my chest.

Her dead body, her corpse. It seemed as though this weight had always been pressing on my chest.

A thick fog covered the sides of the road.

The hearse was passing mountains, plains, and rivers with a special speed and comfort.

Around me a new and unique scene, one that I had seen neither in a dream nor in wakefulness, came to view.

Serrated mountains with jagged tops and strange, suppressed, cursed trees were on both sides of the road. From among the trees grey, triangular, cubic and prismatic houses with dark, low windows lacking any panes, were visible.

These windows resembled the giddy eyes of one who is experiencing a delirious fever.

I don't know what these walls had in them that put coldness and chill into a man's heart.

It looked as if no living being could dwell in these houses.