'Obeyd-e Zakani The Ethics of the Aristocrats, translated by Hasan Javadi (Chapter Six)

 

Chapter Six

Forbearance and Dignity

The Abrogated Practice

 

Forbearance comes from patience. The ancients have called a man forbearing whose carnal self has gained tranquility and serenity, such that wrath cannot easily stir it up. If an unpleasant event befalls him, he is not agitated. It has been related from his holiness the Prophet: "Forbearance is the veil to misfortunes." If read backwards, hilm (forbearance) will become milh (salt or grace), and hence the saying :alhilm milh al-akhlaq—" forbearance is the salt (or charm) of one's character." The poet has thus praised the forbearance of his patron:

The burden of your forbearance

Has broken the mountain's back,

So that it stands fixed in place

Like one with affliction racked.

When between two consonants

A meeting has occurred,

The bearing of a vowel to one

Inevitably is transferred.2

The Adopted Practice

 

It is true that our contemporaries do not reject this characteristic completely. They say, "Although if one practices forbearance or displays patience people will be more impudent toward him and consider it a sign of weakness, in the well-being of his life it is of great significance." The proof of the argument is that one who has borne the weight of rogues and sodomites in his youth and who has displayed forbearance and dignity in this respect, now in the parties and gatherings of great men will not be subjected to much mistreatment. They won't slap him on the face, or pluck his beard, or finger him on the back, or throw him into the pond and speak disrespectfully of his wife and sister. As for the wise man, who is called the ideal man of our time, the virtue of forebearance and dignity with which his rational soul has been endowed, had he not borne those past sufferings, he could not have gained any results. He would always have been distressed, wretched and in an evil plight. People would admit him into their house, and no great man would honor him. This is why they say, "Impudence is the key to success." The meaning of the following couplet also emphasizes the foregoing fact:

 

Man in the strife of the world

Should be as the lower stone in a mill.3

 

One of the advantages of forbearance is as follows: if the family members and wives of a prominent man are accused of infidelity, and he is bare of the ornament of forbearance and dignity, fury will overwhelm his constitution and he will go mad, and by beating and killing his wife and children and mutilating his servants he will bring ruination upon his own family by his own hands. As they say, "Anger is the demon of the intellect," and he necessarily will make his wife and children hate him. Day and night he is grieved and thoughtful lest a critic breathes a word of censure about his household, and says: If

you have a sense of honor,

Then you will feel distress;

If you have no sense of honor,

You will lose your manliness

But the blessed minds of those dignified and successful men will not be disturbed in the least if all the members of their families be raped in front of their eyes one thousand times. Therefore, as long as such men live, they will enjoy peace of mind and tranquility. They will be pleased with their kindred and they will be completely self-assured, and they will never pay attention in the event of any accusation, but rather will say:

If a dog barks at the roof of the barn grieve not.

 

 

Anecdote

 

I heard that one of the noblemen of our time had a chaste but ugly wife. He was saved from her by divorce and took in marriage a beautiful prostitute. The lady, as it is the custom, denounced him everywhere. They reproached him, saying:"Having left a chaste wife, you have chosen a prostitute instead." The nobleman with forbearance and perfect dignity, said: "Your imperfect wisdom never can comprehend such a matter. Formerly I was eating dirt alone, but now I am eating halvah with one thousand men." It is a proverb that "The cuckold is happy in both worlds." The interpretation is that not being afflicted with the disease of honor, he will live in peace in this world; and in the world to come, according to the tradition "no cuckold will enter heaven", he will neither be bothered by the company of ascetics and sheikhs nor by their long and disagreeable faces. Whenever he sees a sheikh he says:

If you have a place in heaven,

The others will choose hell."

For this reason the cuckold is happy in both worlds. But the point might be raised here: If someone asks, " The cuckold hates going to heaven because of the company of the sheikhs, but he will be similarly opposed if he goes to hell, since for each sheikh there, here there are one thousand judges along with his deputies and lawyers. How is it that he will not be annoyed by their association?" We answer: "Since the sheikhs were wellknown for their cleanliness and devotion in this world (though this was never free from hypocrisy and pretension) and since the poor cuckold has never purified himself properly or prostrated himself in prayer, their states will be diametrically opposed to each other. But judges and their followers are well-known for their trickery, deception, usury, sinfulness, injustice, calumny, and faultfinding, as well as bearing false witness, the falsification of the rights of Muslims, their greed and avidity, their working mischief amongst the people, their being shamless and thier accepting bribes; and since similar qualities are inherent in a cuckold's nature, they could arrive at full accord. It is because of this homogeneity that the cuckold will be inclined to the company of judges and their dependents. It has been said, "Everyone seeks out his own kind." Moreover, it has become proverbial that "Homogeneity is the cause of attraction." Consequently, when the fire-blazers of hell drag such a man to their domain, he will say in self praise:

If they take me with the pious to heaven

Tomorrow if without a friend,

It would be better were they to drag me,

With the sinners to hell.

As one of the great commentators has said of Koranic verse, "There is not one of you but shall pass [the bridge of Sirat]."5 All people will pass over the bridge of Sirat6 as swiftly as lightning, except for the judges and their followers, who will remain in hell forever and who will play a fiery game of chess with each other.

It has been recorded in the traditions of the Prophet: "The people of hell play with fire." It is for this reason that such men prefer this attribute to other characteristics.